


The Author & Her Editor

by DreamerFae



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Anime, Comedy, F/M, Fanfiction, Romance, Tousaki, tokyo ghoul re
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-07 00:51:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 21,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerFae/pseuds/DreamerFae
Summary: Haise is a new editor to the company and has been assigned to a major author. She is a very beautiful yet nasty person. What will come of their meeting?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! This is the first story in publishing on AO3 and I hope you guys like it. I'm more active on Wattpad so if y'all wanna find me, my name is FaithSebastianHsi. :)

I will be sending your new editor over to your house so you guys can get acquainted. He'll be in charge of you from now on. 

The blue haired female messed up her hair in frustration as the words of her manager rung in her mind. I can't deal with this. I'm going to sleep. She dragged her tired body to her room and fell asleep as soon as her body hit the bed.

A few hours later, a young man with a mix of black and white hair stood in front of an apartment door and pressed on the door bell. The sound of the bell resonated but no response came and so he pressed the door bell again. Still nothing. His hand rested on the door knob and the door opened by itself. Stepping into the apartment, he looked around. "Excuse me for intruding... Is anyone around??"

He still didn't hear any response and went to check the rooms one by one to see if there was anyone. Every room had a different desk and chair but there was no signs of a person. The only room that he had not checked was the last one along the corridor. With his hand placed on the door knob, he opened the door and saw a woman, who looked like she was in her early twenties, sprawled across the queen-sized bed in a pink rabbit onesie with a string of saliva coming out from one end of her mouth. A chuckle escaped him and he quickly covered his mouth as the woman stirred in her sleep and slowly opened her eyes.

With her eyes now wide open, she jumped out of bed and grabbed anything close to her—in this case, an umbrella—and pointed it at the man. "Who are you?! A robbery?!"

He quickly put his hands up to defend himself and dropped all of the files he was holding in the process. "N-No! I'm Haise Sasaki, your new editor starting from today! I assure you I'm not a robber!"

While he was babbling on and on about how the door was open and he let himself in, he stared down at the woman before him. Her ocean-blue eyes complimented her blue waves of hair and even though he thought that she was already pretty, his eyes trailed down to her cute button nose and pink lips. Cute was an understatement, she was beautiful.

At that moment, all he could think of was how he had used up the entire luck in his life to be assigned to this beautiful author.

Not even listening to what he was saying, the female stared down at the files on the floor. Haise Sasaki - appointed to be the editor of Kirishima Touka. "Oh. You're the new editor." Her face turned into one of disgust as she looked at him from top to bottom. "What were they thinking, sending a young guy like you to me? You don't look that knowledgeable about writing and editing."

Haise was offended by her comment. "Excuse me—"

"You're excused." She smirked.

"EXCUSE ME! I can assure you that I have been in this industry for a few years and I do have the skills to be an editor!"

"Well you can go tell that idiot manager of mine that I don't need an editor. End of discussion." She said as she slammed the door in his face.

Although she had an attractive appearance, her personality was trash. First day of work and he's already off to a rocky start.


	2. Chapter 2

With his eyebrows furrowed, Haise bit on his fingernail and walked around in circles. What should I do? What should I do?! The male was conflicted between leaving and risk losing his job and staying here like an idiot even though she has already told him to go away. 

...

He decided that this rude lady was not worth losing the job that he painstakingly worked for to get into. Whipping out his phone, he dialed the manager and listened to the tone ring thrice before it connected. "Hello this is Nishio and I'm busy. State what you want in 15 words."

He grinned. Not to brag, but he was always good in summaries. "Kirishima-San locked herself in her room and wants me to leave. What should I do?"

Exactly 15 words.

"Ahh... The usual I don't need an editor attitude. Just buy her Dunkin donuts and she'll come out of her room. Her favorites are blueberry and chocolate flavor. 

"Roger." Haise hung up and left the apartment in search of a nearby Dunkin Donuts store. 

\---

1 hour later...

The author—Touka, pressed her ear to the door and listened for any signs that the man was still there and wondered why this was happening to her.

Flashback...

"You should submit your work to a publisher house! You'll definitely get accepted!" Yoriko gushed excitedly.

Touka stuffed her papers into her bag and shrugged. "It's just a hobby, I don't think I'll really work full time with this."

"Ehh... I really think you will though!"

Fast forward years later, her friend was right. Her full time job was a horror author and she met the love of her life through her job. But that is a story to be saved for later.

Flashback over...

After confirming that he wasn't in the apartment anymore, Touka exited her room and went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. As she busied herself with finding the coffee beans, she found herself staring at the blue cup laying unused on the tabletop. She quickly averted her eyes and went to make her coffee.

Settling down at the 4-seater dining table, she sipped her coffee in silence and let out a sigh of contentment. Her smile turned upside down as she heard the password of her door being pressed. She directed her attention to the door as it opened and frowned as soon as she saw the same guy back again.

"I'm back! Oh! You're out of your room!—"

"How the hell did you find out my password?!" She yelled at him.

Haise cocked his head to the side as if the answer was something obvious. "Your manager Nishio gave it to me."

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. Shitty Nishiki. I'll give him hell for it later.

"But great timing, I bought some donuts. Would you like to have some?" He grinned as he held up the Dunkin Donuts box for her to see.

Her eyes widened a fraction upon seeing the box that contained her favorite snacks. She brought the coffee cup to her lips and tried to ignore her burning urge to stuff her mouth with donuts. Haise smirked. He knows she wants it. He sat down in front of her and took out one donut. He held it up, dangling it before her eyes. "Ahh... It looks so nice... If nobody wants to eat it, I'll have to eat it..." 

His grin widened as he watched her eyes follow his hand swing the donut from left to right. He opened wide, brought the donut to his mouth and was almost about to eat it when she snatched it away and chomped on it. Chuckling, he pushed the box to her. "I was just joking. You can have the whole box."

He found her adorable, as she stuffed the donut into her mouth, making her cheeks look like a hamster's.

"You're a cheater." Touka complained.

"Yes I am." Haise rested his elbow on the table and cheek against his hand. "Tell me. Why do you not want an editor? It is essential for all authors to have one to change mistakes."

Upon hearing the question, her lips trembled and she stopped eating. "I don't want to talk about it."

She stuffed the last bit of her donut into his mouth and stood up to make her way back to her room. 

"Wait!" Haise quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her so she faced him. His eyes widened as he saw tears in her eyes and he lowered his arm, loosening his grip. "H-Hey, why are you crying? Did I touch on a sensitive topic? If I did, I apologize!"

"N-No it's not you. It's my problem. Can you let me go? I want to go to my room."

"Oh um okay I'm sorry." He stared down at his hand and released her. She ran to her room and slammed the door behind her.

After entering her room, she glanced around the room and laid her eyes on the photo frame on the table. She grabbed it and hugged it to her chest as her tears flowed down her cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell did you do to her? She's ignoring my messages, my calls and refuses to come out of her room!" Nishiki shouted and Haise flinched at the loudness of him slamming a stack of papers on the table.

"I'm sorry..." He apologized but he didn't look apologetic at all. "But! All I did was ask her the reason why she didn't want an editor! Then she started crying!"

"For fucks sake, why do you have to be such a busybody? Everyone has issues and clearly you stepped on a sensitive one of hers!" Nishiki yelled. "Ugh. Get me a cup of coffee now. I need it."

\---

Nishiki sipped the coffee that Haise scrambled to get and sighed. "Sorry I'm very stressed right now and I did not mean to throw a temper at you. The deadline is nearing and she's not even halfway there. After yesterday, she's just not doing anything. She stopped writing completely and I'm guessing that right now, she's sulking in her room. Haise, you're the cause of this problem so go to her and fix it. Make sure she starts writing, no matter what you have to do."

"Yes, Manager Nishiki."

As Haise attempted to leave, Nishiki called for him to stop and he turned around. "Yes?"

"Don't ask her the reason why she doesn't want an editor again. Something happened in the past and it affected her a lot so seriously, don't ask her unless she wants to tell you."

\---

As Haise made his way to Touka's house, he wondered what could have happened in the past that made Touka like this today. Nishiki kept his mouth shut about it so he guessed he could only hear about it from Touka herself. But he'll wait until she's ready. 

Still, he felt bad about reminding her of something painful and wanted to make it up to her.

\---

He knocked on her door gently and pressed his ear to the door when he heard no response to the knocking. "I have donuts! Would you like to come out and have them?"

No reply. But he could hear her breathing so he's glad that she's at least alive.

"I want to apologize for what happened yesterday! It was wrong of me to ask you something personal when we barely know each other. How about this, let's get to know each other better?"

Still no reply. He sighed, dejected and turned around but his ears perked up when he heard her muffled voice from behind the door.

"Are the donuts my favorite flavors?"

"Y-yes! Blueberry and chocolate!" His heart started beating really fast, hoping for her to come out.

As he hoped, she emerged from her room with a huge blanket that enveloped her whole body. Her eyes darted to the window which was filled with water droplets and glanced back to Haise. "You went out to get donuts in this weather?"

The pitter patter of the rain on the windows increased in volume. It's been raining since morning and it's already afternoon.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk about yesterday. Should we move to the dining table first?"

\---

After the two settled down at the table, Haise opened the box of donuts for Touka and chuckled when her eyes lit up at the sight of her favorite donuts. She really loves her donuts, huh?

As she started digging into her first donut, she noticed a strawberry donut beside her chocolate one. "This one's yours?"

"Ah yes!" Haise picked it up and took a bite. "I was starving and thought I could pick up one for myself as well. I love strawberry."

Touka's nose wrinkled in disgust. "Strawberry is just gross. I don't get how people can eat it."

He stared at her, flabbergasted at her comment. "How could you not love strawberry?! It's the best flavor in the world!"

Touka scoffed. The two glared at each other and then burst out in laughter. 

"Okay okay. We have our likes and dislikes and we should respect them." Haise stated as he wiped away his tears. "Back to the real topic. I'm really sorry about yesterday and I hope that you will take these donuts as my way of apologizing."

"... I accept your apology but I'll have you know that you won't be having this job for long because I don't want an editor."

"That's where I'll try my best to stay! I figured since we still don't know much about each other, we should play a game!"

Touka raised a brow. "Now what would that game be?"

"Two truths and a lie."


	4. Chapter 4

Touka sighed heavily. "That's stupid."

Haise's smug face turned into a frown. "Don't say that before you even try! Come on, I'll start! I graduated from Kamii university with a degree in Literature. I'm 26 years old this year. I'm attached. Which is the lie?" 

She sighed even deeper as he stared at her with excitement in his eyes, waiting for her answer. "You're not attached."

"How did you know that?" He was genuinely surprised that she knew that was the answer and thought she would say about his age because most people have told him he looked around 23.

"I'm an author, Sasaki-San. From what I see, you're usually the one dumped by girls and I can tell it's been a while since your last relationship."

He seemed awed by her answer and she found herself blushing out of embarrassment and continued, even though she said this game was stupid.

"I like bad boys. I'm 24 this year. I hate birds."

Seeing his serious expression while thinking of the answer, she let out a small laugh. "You don't have to think that hard. The answer's easy." She finds it amusing and interesting at how he's taking this game so seriously.

After serious pondering, he looked like he finally connected the dots. "Your age!"

"Wrong."

"Oh! That's unfortunate. What's the answer?"

"Thought this one was easy. I like good boys."

He shrugged. "I'm not you so I wouldn't know. I'm not attached at the moment so if you're interested, would you like to date me—"

She knows what he's trying to do and shouts. "Next!"

The two went back and forth and after many tries, they ended in a draw and Haise decided it was time to end this. So he proposed that whoever wins the next round, gets to tell the loser to do something. He was confident that he would win the round and he would get to tell her to complete her work by the deadline. He's getting to know her AND getting her to complete her work. Killing two birds with one stone.

But...

"Wrong! You're an idiot." Touka face palmed.

Haise grimaced. There goes his chance. But a loss is a loss. He will honor the deal. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"

Touka put her finger to her chin and wondered. Unknowingly, his gaze was on her finger then went up to her pink lips and watched as they parted slightly. He shook his head violently. Snap out of it, Haise! Are you hungry because it's been years you've been with a woman?! Stop it! He forced his eyes to look at a wall as she thought of his 'punishment'. 

But his eyes still went back to her. Just a little wouldn't hurt, right? She's so beautiful.

His eyes wandered to her lips once again and lingered for a while before moving up to her nose, then to her beautiful eyes which stared straight into his eyes and he realized that she caught him staring. "Are you ogling me?"

A blush formed on his cheeks and he waved his arms around frantically, trying to deny that but it was all too obvious from his actions. "I-I'm not! I was just looking at your face, not anywhere else! I thought you were beautiful!"

She giggled. "I know. I was just teasing you."

Then she frowned. The only person who called her beautiful and meant it was...

He sighed in relief. "Geez, Kirishima-San!"

She snapped out of her thoughts. "I know already. Help me with my writing. I've been having writers block recently and can't come up with decent stories."

He gawked at her. It was a surprise that she would ask him for help, seeing as she was the one who told him that she didn't need an editor.

"I know what you're thinking, Sasaki-San. But don't forget, I can always tell Shitty Nishiki to fire you anytime."

Haise whined. "Don't be so mean, Kirishima-San~~~"

She smiled. 

He's interesting. I'll keep him by my side for now.


	5. Chapter 5

"Come on right in." Touka said as she opened her door.

Haise's heart thumped loudly and he shut his eyes. It's been a while since he's been in a girl's room. Will it be all pink or would it be filled with stuffed toys? As he opened his eyes, his jaw dropped because it looked like a bomb went off in her room. The room was dark as the curtains were closed and books, papers, clothes were all over the floor and he could not believe this was actually a girl's room. The only thing that was girly was that huge rabbit plushie on her queen sized bed.

He stared at her as she sat down onto the floor and seemed unfazed at the condition of her room. He totally forgot that she was a messy person, when he saw the way how she left all of the plates and cups in the sink without washing them earlier.

"I think part of the reason why you're having writers block is because your room is a mess. Researchers have found that a change in environment will improve creativity. So before we start, let's clean this place up first."

Touka scowled. "It'll get dirty after a few days anyway. What's the point in cleaning?"

He stood his ground and placed his hands on his hips. "Nay! I believe in the researchers! Alright, let's get started!" 

The first thing he did was open the curtains to let the light in and Touka squinted her eyes because it's been a long time since she saw the light. Then she watched as he started to pick up the items on the floor one by one and placed them on her tables. She sighed and followed after him because he was so damned stubborn that nothing she say would change his mind. 

After finally clearing the items, they swept, vacuumed and mopped the floor until it was squeaky then moved on to change her bedsheets after she said she hasn't changed in months, which was gross in his opinion because he change his once every week. 

Taking all of the bedsheets and pillow covers into his arms, Haise walked past her table and noticed a small photo frame. Up close, he saw that it was a picture of Touka and another guy. A boyfriend?

But after he invaded her privacy on accident, he decided not to ask her about it and ignored it. Before he left the room, he told her not to touch anything in fear of her messing up her room again and she just stood there, waiting for him to be back.

\---

Her room was now so clean that she wondered when was the last time it was this clean. About a year ago? When she was still with...

"Okay I'm back! Let's start! Horror stories huh? I have experience with romance and literature but not horror. Is it okay if I tell you what's scary to me or any horror stories that I've heard?" He questioned.

"Whatever works. As long as I hear something."

\--- 

Few hours later...

Haise stretched his arms and let out a groan. "Hah I'm exhausted." He directed his eyes to the clock. 5.30pm. "Are you hungry? Cause I am."

"I'm not." Touka replied and a loud grumbling sound filled the air. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. So much for lying.

Haise laughed out loud and stood up. "Roger. I'm going to make us dinner."

She was too busy with writing her book that she didn't hear him leave the room. 30 minutes later, an aroma filled the air and she walked out to find Haise cooking in her kitchen. Immediately, she could see her boyfriend in Haise's back. Memories of her staring at her boyfriend's back while waiting for the food to be ready filled her mind and brought tears to her eyes. The kitchen was a memorable place to her.

"Give me another 30 minutes and I'll be done—why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?" He panicked as he saw her tears.

Ah she's doing it again. 

"No it's just some dust went into my eyes, that's all. I'm gonna go wash up." She turned and ran to the bathroom. Her sadness exploded in tears as soon as she slammed the door close.

After crying her heart out, she returned to the living room and saw that the food was already on the table and Haise was sitting there, waiting for her. Though he did stare at her, she was thankful that he didn't question her about her swollen eyes. 

His mouth turned up to a grin and  he invited her to taste his food. "It's been a while since I've cooked and my skills are rusty. Do tell me what you think."

Touka settled down in front of him and picked up her chopsticks. She clapped her hands together and thanked him for the food. Picking up a piece of chicken, she pushed it into her mouth and chewed. Her cheeks warmed at the taste. Ahh... She's been having too many take-aways that she totally forgot that home-cooked food was the best.

"It's nice." She said quietly and took another piece of food.

He smiled. "I'm glad!"

She has to admit that his presence in the house is helping her feel less alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldnt wait until tomorrow to publish this XD 
> 
> Do leave kudos or comments if you like the story! Thank you :)


	6. Chapter 6

"How about visiting paranormal places? To get some ideas for your story." Haise suggested.

"No." Touka shot down his idea immediately without giving it a second thought.

"Eh why? You're a horror author."

"Yes I am but I don't like those places. They give me the creeps. What if something really follows me home?"

He grinned creepily. "Don't tell me you're afraid?"

She gritted her teeth. The tone of his words pisses her off somehow. It's like he was looking down on her. Just as she was about to grace him with a punch to his face, he suggested another idea. "Then if you don't like real supernatural places, how about fake ones?"

Her eyebrow raised and she looked skeptical. "An example of fake ones?"

"Amusement parks' haunted houses."

She snorted. "An amusement park? Really?" She looked at him with disbelief on her face.

"I'm serious!" Haise exclaimed, defending his suggestion. "It may give you some ideas. Besides, since somebody is scared of real supernatural places, the haunted house at the park is our only choice."

"Fuck you."

Haise chuckled.

...

"Fine."

\---

Haise waited for an hour for Touka to change and they left the house. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by her appearance; simple makeup that consisted of only foundation, blusher and eyeliner, and a simple outfit; a white blouse with beige skirt and sandals. Though everything was simple, she looked stunning to him. Maybe because she was already naturally beautiful, dressing up like this made her even more prettier.

She looked great while he looked underdressed, boring even, as he stared down at his black buttoned shirt, his tie and pin-striped pants. "Uhh on second thoughts, can I go home and change?" He asked.

"Why? You look fine to me. Actually, you look great in this outfit. It fits you." She replied as she gave a scan from head to toe.

His cheeks warmed. "Ah, okay."

What the hell are you blushing for, Haise? It was just a compliment! 

\---

Standing in front of the amusement park, the staff passed the two of them the tickets to enter the park. "You guys make a good couple. Have fun!"

They blushed. "We are not a couple!"

Brushing off their embarrassment, they made their way to the haunted house attraction. A long queue of families and couples were at the attraction and Touka groaned as she glanced at the waiting time board which said 1 hour. How was she going to pass the time?

Haise noticed her grimace and chuckled. "Shall we go to the other attractions first?"

"Eh? But we're here for the haunted house."

He grabbed her arm and smiled. "We're at an amusement park after all. What's the fun if we only tried one attraction? Let's go!"

Well, it's been a while since she's been to an amusement park, so she let it go just this once and put her work at the back of her mind. 

"Okay."

The first ride she wanted to take surprised Haise.

"I want to sit that roller coaster." She said as she pointed towards a blue roller coaster in the distance that was 100 meters off the ground and had 2 loops.

"What?!" He exclaimed.

"Why are you surprised?" 

"I thought maybe we could take the slow rides like the merry go round. Girls usually like those."

"I don't like 'em. The term 'girl' does not apply to me, it seems. I love thrilling rides." She folded her arms and proudness showed on her face.

I don't want to hear that from you who write horror stories and yet can't handle supernatural places. Haise thought.  

"Can we not ride that one? Maybe something less thrilling?" He pleaded, hoping that she wouldn't find out that roller coasters were one of his weak points.

Touka put her hand to her mouth and grinned. "Don't tell me, you are afraid of roller coasters and thrilling rides in general?"

Fuck my life. She found out.

His hands covered the growing blush on his face. "Is it wrong for me to be scared? Everyone has something they are scared of!"

This was her first time seeing him so defenseless and she giggled. "Okay okay. Let's go sit something less thrilling."

\---

Haise stared straight with a blank expression on his face then panic started to show on his face as the ride started going up. He turned to Touka who was sitting beside him and started shouting. "Isn't this a roller coaster?! How is this a less thrilling ride?! You tricked me!"

She snickered. "This is a less thrilling ride than the blue roller coaster because it is only 70 meters above the ground. I didn't say it wouldn't be a roller coaster. You just misunderstood the whole thing yourself."

He squeezed his eyes shut and screamed at the top of his lungs when the roller coaster dropped down.

\- After the ride -

Haise sighed heavily as he leaned back against a chair and covered his eyes with his arm. 

"Jeez I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be so scared." Touka apologized.

"You better be. I'm choosing the next ride." He mumbled as he wiped his tears away.


	7. Chapter 7

After finishing almost all of the rides, they went back to the haunted house attraction and was relieved to find that there was no more queues and went straight in. 

The moment the staff closed the door behind them, everything turned dark. They then started walking, with Haise in front and Touka slightly behind him. 

"D-Don't walk too far in front. I don't want to lose you if anything happens." She said as she felt goosebumps down her spine at the dark and cold environment.

He started to brisk walk, putting more distance between them. 

"Sasaki? Sasaki!"

Her heart beat started increasing in intensity and she was honestly getting scared by the minute because he didn't respond and even more now that she can't even hear his footsteps. 

"Sasaki! Where are you?"

He smirked as he hid behind one of the props. I'll pay back what you did to me with the roller coaster. But he was too invested in his own thoughts that he didn't realized that she had already walked pass him.

Touka took another step and screamed as a ghost started chasing her from behind. Haise heard her screams and quickly ran after her. It was dark but he managed to catch a glimpse of her and grabbed her arm to pull her behind the wall to escape the ghost. She started pushing onto the person who pulled her, afraid that it was another ghost but he grabbed her wrist. "Relax! It's me, Sasaki!"

She slowly stopped struggling. "S-Sasaki?"

"Yes."

Tears started dripping down and she hit on his chest repeatedly. "You asshole! I told you not to go so far ahead!"

"Sorry..." 

She was trembling so furiously like she was genuinely scared and he felt bad for trying to scare her even though she did the same to him earlier on. 

"I'm here now... Let's rest here for a bit." He cooed as he ran his fingers through her smooth hair and up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her.

Still sniffling, her arms went around his neck and she pressed herself against him. He almost screamed at her sudden action but kept it in to prevent from scaring her any further. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. At this proximity, he could smell her natural scent mixed with a rose scented smell. Maybe it's her shampoo? He didn't peg her to be the type to use scented shampoos, even more so a girly one. 

His thoughts were cut off as she pressed closer to him, wanting more assurance that he was really there. He gasped as something soft and warm pressed to his chest and his eyes almost popped out of his head when he looked down and realized that the soft and warm thing was her big breasts. He stared as she doesn't seem to be bothered about it, maybe because she was too freaked out.

Being a gentlemen in this situation, Haise controlled himself and stayed very still. But he couldn't control his emotions, as his heart thumped harder and harder. His male instincts was telling him to just grab her breasts and fondle them but his common sense was telling him that this was not the right situation to be doing that. It was also partially his fault for making her this afraid.

After another 10 minutes, she seemed to have calmed down quite a bit as she stopped shaking. He was still hugging her and pushed her back so he can see her face. It was red and puffy and he chuckled. "Do you still want to continue or do you want to tell the staff to let us out?"

"Let's continue. This is for the sake of my book."

They stood up and she made sure to grab his arm tightly and tuck it in between her breasts before they started moving forward. The blush on Haise's cheeks wouldn't subside even though he knew she wasn't doing this on purpose. The two successfully made it out as the remaining parts of the haunted house was only filled with little scares here and there.

Touka has never been so glad to see the sun shining down at her. She released his arm and he watched as her cheeks turned pink, her eyes staring straight into his. "I-If you tell anyone about me today, I'll kill you."

Haise laughed out loud. He's not into letting people know about one's weaknesses. "I won't!" 

She nodded and turned her back to him as she started walking towards the exit of the park. He stared at her back and was impressed at the lengths that she would go to for her book. Even though she was scared shitless, she still persevered and in his eyes, she looked very cool.

She's more than his first impression of her being just a rude lady. Way more than that.

The male looked down at his arms and missed the warmth and softness of her body. He wanted to hold her in his arms once more just like in the haunted house.

He dismissed the thought as just being lonely for being single all these years and went with Touka back to her apartment to continue on their stories.


	8. Chapter 8

"So how is the progress? Did you manage to get Touka to start on her work?" Nishiki asked.

"Yes! We went to an amusement park for ideas and we're working on them now!"

"Was it a date? Did you guys kiss? Are you guys a couple now—" Nishiki bombarded him with questions that he knew would get Haise flustered and it would be very interesting to see that.

Haise's cheeks turned pink immediately and he flailed his arms around, denying everything that Nishiki had said. "No, we're not a couple! Although something did happen at the park..." He trailed off as he realized the true intention behind his manager's questions. "Are you trying to get me to spill everything?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Just saying that as your senior, if you have any problems or questions, come to me. I'll answer even if they're not related to work and are related to women." He smirked.

Nishiki didn't expect Haise to really take a seat in front of him and he laughed at the serious expression on his face. "What? You really had something?"

"Don't laugh! I just need advice on something."

"Shoot."

So Haise told Nishiki what happened during the park, that he had a great time, about his heart thumping so fast and his urge to hug her again and that it's been a while since he's had so much fun with a woman.

"That's love, isn't it? You're not a virgin and yet you can't tell you're falling in love with her?" Nishiki tried to suppress his laughter.

"No, that's—stop teasing me! I'm being serious! I don't know if it's really love, it could be because I haven't been with anyone for around 3 years and that I'm craving for some female company now. But I can't deny the fact that I think she's beautiful and even though she bullies me sometimes, I find myself forgiving her for it and everything..."

"Okay, kiddo. Let me define love for you." He took out his phone and googled then showed the results to Haise. "Strong affection for another person. Attraction based on sexual desire. An object of admiration or attachment. Unconditional affection. If you don't believe me, go search up the symptoms of being in love and observe your own actions. That's all I can say."

Even after hearing that, Haise still had no idea what love was really like because his first and only relationship screwed up his perception of love. He frowned at the thought of his ex as sadness suddenly overcame him.

\---

As Haise made his way to Touka's apartment, he Googled for the symptoms. You think about them before going to bed. You smile while you're thinking of them. You're excited to spend the day with them. You miss them even if you're apart for a day.

The strangest thing was when he realized that he met all of these conditions.

His feet finally reached her apartment and all of a sudden, he's feeling really nervous because of what he had just said. Is what Nishiki saying really true? That I'm in love with her?

With his heart beating so fast, his hands started to sweat and he willed for himself to calm down. What's wrong with you? It's just a normal day where you visit her house! You don't feel like this any other day, right? Don't let this day be different!

Gathering up his courage, he put on a big smile and opened the door. "Good afternoon!"

Glancing around the living room, she wasn't in sight and he made his way to her room. If she's not in the living room she must be here. He found himself excited to see her and had his hand on the doorknob. The door creaked open and he saw her in deep sleep and sprawled on her bed. He chuckled as he remembered the first time they met when he also found her in this position.

He settled down on the bed and watched as she slept so peacefully. Unconsciously, his gaze landed on her lips and how nice would it be if his lips could be on her pink lips. His thumb ran across her lips and he licked his lips. Just one kiss wouldn't hurt, right?

Realizing what he was about to do, Haise quickly distanced himself from her and felt relieved that he still had his self-control. She stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry and she thought she was dreaming. "...ken?"

Ken? Who's that?

His heart felt like it was being stabbed with a thousand knives when he heard her call another guy's name that wasn't his. Ah, so this is possessiveness. You just want the person to focus on you, only you.

But he put away his feelings and tried to stay professional. "It's Sasaki Haise."

Upon hearing his name, she got up and rubbed her eyes. "Oh you're here... I'll be ready in 10 minutes..."

He left her room and wondered who this Ken guy was. He vaguely remembered the picture of Touka and another guy that he saw in her room. Is that him?

\--

Meanwhile, Touka was covering her face and blushing furiously. That was so embarrassing! He saw me in my rabbit pajamas and the horrible state of my room! Wait. She stopped. Since when was she concerned about him? She jumped out of bed, hands on her hips and puffed her chest out. That's right, I have nothing to worry about. It's just stupid Sasaki! Yeah!

The previous day's memories suddenly came back to her. Her holding his arm, crying to his chest and hugging him. When you think about it, technically they went on a date.

Stop it, Touka. You promised yourself. That you would never fall in love again. With that, she shut her feelings off and got ready.

\--

While Haise was making coffee in the kitchen, the door bell was rung and he happily went to answer it without checking who the person at the door was. His face fell when he saw his ex-girlfriend standing there.

"What are you doing here, Rize-san?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki and Haise are two different people in this story.


	9. Chapter 9

"It's nice to see you again, Haise."

Hearing his first name being called by her reminded him of the way she took advantage of him and threw him away when she got bored. Anger and sadness started to fill him. "Why are you here?"

She smirked. "Because I want you back. Other guys are boring. You were the best."

"Sasaki? Who's at the door? Is it shitty Nishiki?" Touka asked as she left her bathroom in a white t shirt and blue shorts.

Rize pushed past Haise and walked towards Touka. "Oh my. Such a pretty girl. Thank you for taking care of my Haise all this time. I'm Haise's girlfriend, Kamishiro Rize." She smiled and extended her hand.

"Oh uh—I'm Kirishima Touka and uh he's my editor." The female awkwardly took her outstretched hand. Thought he didn't have a girlfriend.

The male placed his hand on his ex's shoulder and pulled her a little forcibly so she faced him. "Kamishiro-san, I have no intentions on getting back with you. Not when you discarded me to the side like last time."

She smirked and leaned forward to lick his ear. Goosebumps formed on his skin and she put her lips near to his ear and whispered. "It's okay I'll wait. You'll soon be begging to be by my side again."

With that, she saw herself out and shut the door. His legs gave away and he dropped to the floor and sighed in relief, now that she's gone.

"Your ex?"

Haise nodded. He took her outstretched hand with thanks and stood up.

"..do you want to talk about it? I'm here if you want to. "

"I..."

\- Flashback -

It all started when they met in a group date in a karaoke room, set up by one of Haise's ex-colleagues. Rize and Haise were paired up. What attracted him was her beautiful purple long hair and her low cut white dress that showed off her ample cleavage. But when they found out that they have a common interest in books, he fell in love.

He was 22 back then and it was his first relationship with a girl. But he chose the wrong girl to be with. Rize was a manipulative and cunning woman. She could use anything to her advantage and still claim to be innocent.

At first, it started off with her saying that she liked something and wanted to have it. Being the good boyfriend he was, Haise bought everything she wanted for her. It begun with cheap items like books and handbags but it escalated to branded bags, shoes, clothes and jewelry. If he said he doesn't have money, she would cry crocodile tears and he would even go as far as taking a bank loan just to buy the items for her.

She would even threaten to break up with him if he didn't do what she asked. He was completely under her thumb but it didn't matter because he thought they were in love.

This continued for a year until one day, he came home to find Rize naked in bed with another man. His heart broke that day when she told him that they were breaking up because she got bored of him being so willing and gullible. From then on, she left him like how she first stormed into his heart.

\- Flashback over -

"I thought we were in love. I even imagined us having a future together. Getting married and having children. But she broke my heart that day and I haven't dated anyone else since."

It bothered Touka seeing the usually cheerful Haise being so depressed now and yet she can't think of anything to say to comfort him.

"Enough of Rize. Now where were we?" Haise discarded his sadness and grinned.


	10. Chapter 10

"Look Sasaki, you don't have to force yourself to be happy. We can do anything today. It's clear that your ex's appearance disturbed you."

"What no! I'm here to do my work and I will do it! Now where are my files..." Haise rummaged through his bag for the manuscript that Touka had submitted. He was planning to complete editing all of them by today.

She sighed. Knowing that nothing she say will get through him, she got her laptop out, sat opposite him at the dining table and started writing.

Few hours later...

Haise finally finished his editing and stretched his arms in front of him. Tilting his head to the side, he found Kirishima on the table sleeping peacefully and smiled. He maneuvered her body carefully so he wouldn't accidentally wake her up and carried her princess-style to her room. Gently laying her down onto her bed, he pulled the blankets over her and watched her as she slept.

His gaze started from her long eyelashes, down to her pink lips, to her creamy neck and collarbones. How nice would it be if he could press kisses onto those pink lips and down that attractive neck of hers? To check whether she was really sleeping, he waved his hand over her face and sighed in relief when she didn't respond.

She's really knocked out, huh?

Eyes stuck on her lips, he moved closer to press his lips onto hers. He pulled away immediately and gasped as he saw her staring up at him with wide eyes. "Y-You're awake..."

"Sasaki, you..."

"I-I just realized I forgot something at the office! I'm going back to—" Haise scrambled to his feet but she grabbed his shirt and stopped him from going.

"Sit down. We need to talk about this."

The fierce look in her eyes told him that he couldn't refuse. He sat down on the bed, putting a certain distance between and looked at the floor. She sighed.

"Since when?"

"Eh?" His head raised and he stared at her.

"When did you start having feelings for me?"

"..I only found out today. I'm so sorry about kissing you and I swear I won't do it again—" He stopped as he felt her hand on his and looked up at her.

"It's okay. I just want you to know that I'm not intending to date. Not at the moment. Something happened in the past and it's hard for me to move on. I hope you understand." 

She looked like she was deep in thought and he could tell that she was thinking about the past. "Is this about the guy in the picture with you?" Her eyes widened and he apologized. "I'm sorry, I saw the photo when we were cleaning your room."

She bit on her lower lip and let out a forced smile. "I see. It was inevitable that you would find out one day."

Her bangs covered her expression and he tried to peek at her face. "Do you..want to talk about it?"

He is aware that he's going too far with this but he wants to know what happened in her life. 

Her voice trembled and he knew she was about to cry. "I..I'm not ready to share this with anyone. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I just remembered I had something I need to settle. I'll see you tomorrow."

Haise excused himself and left her room. His tears fell as he heard her sobs and when he knew that this love of his has come to an end.


	11. Chapter 11

Cough. Cough.

Haise downed a cup of water in an attempt to soothe his itchy throat. He then threw his aching body onto the bed and groaned. His eyes opened and stared at the ceiling. Maybe running home in the rain the previous day and falling sick now was a blessing in disguise. With what happened, he did not want to see Touka now because it would be so awkward. He knew she would reject him, she always seemed like she couldn't forget what happened in the past.

Shaking his head to get rid of his depressing thoughts, he dragged his body to the living room where he settled down in front of a table and started his editing of documents. He started coughing badly again and he got up, wanting to get a cup of water. When he stood up, he felt dizzy all of a sudden and fell down to the floor. Everything was blurry and he found his eyes slowly closing.

\---

Glancing at the clock for millionth time today, Touka frowned and directed her attention to the door. Why isn't he here yet? He's usually here at 11am but it's already 2pm... She picked up her phone and hesitated when her finger roamed over his contact. But she changed her mind and dialed that shitty manager of hers instead.

"What do you want, asshole?"

"Hey shit head. Where's Sasaki?" Touka asked, simply returning his insult to him.

"He didn't tell you? He's resting at home today. Fell sick."

Sick? Why didn't he tell me? He could at least let me know that something happened to him...

She could practically see the shit head smirk over the phone. "Hehhh... It's so sad that he didn't even bother to tell you. Does he not care about you that much?"

Touka gritted her teeth. "Fuck off."

"Don't be like that. Why don't you go visit him and ask him why he didn't tell you? For all you know, he might be dying at home."

"HAH?! WHY WOULD I GO VISIT HIM?!" She shouted in the phone.

Nishiki hung up and sent Haise's address to her by text. She stared at the screen, contemplating whether to go visit him or not and made her decision after 5 minutes. 

\--

Touka exited the convenience store with medicines, hot packs, cold patches, vitamins and whatnot in a plastic bag and she clicked her tongue. I'm not worried about him. I'm just going there to check up on him. Yeah. Not worried whatsoever.

..Okay. Maybe a little worried.

\---

Standing outside his apartment, she checked the address thrice before pressing on the doorbell. "Sasaki, it's me. Touka! I'm here to see how you're doing!"

No response. She turned the doorknob and her eyebrow raised as the door opened. Entering the house, she placed her shoes neatly against the wall and stepped inside. "Sasaki? Where are you—"

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw a body on the floor and she sighed in relief after realizing that it was only Sasaki. 

Wait, is he dead?

Quickly running over to him, she flipped him over and checked his pulse and his breathing. Still alive... Phew. She threw his arm over her shoulders and dragged his body to the biggest room, which she assumed was his bedroom. Dropping him onto the bed, she pulled the blankets over him and positioned him so that his head was on the pillow. 

Feeling his forehead, she gasped when she realized he was running a high fever. She slapped the cool patch on his head and wrapped him in as many clothes or blankets that she could find. Touka sat down onto the bed and stared at him.

She didn't know why she was bothered with what shitty Nishiki said. 

\- Flashback -

Hehhh... It's so sad that he didn't even bother to tell you. Does he not care about you that much?

\- Flashback End -

She frowned. Shitty Sasaki. He better answer me when he's awake.


	12. Chapter 12

Haise stirred in his sleep and cracked open his eyes. Feeling the soft mattress underneath him, he wondered how he got to his bed after he collapsed earlier. What time is it..? His hand reached for his alarm clock and he squinted at it due to the darkness of his room. 6.12pm... I've been out for 4 hours?! My work!

As he scrambled to his feet, his room door opened and he turned his head in that direction to find Touka standing at his doorway with a bowl in her hand. "K-Kirishima?! What are you doing here?" He stood there, mouth agape as he couldn't fathom why she would be here.

He watched as she walked towards him, placed the bowl down onto his bedside table and grabbed his arm to throw him onto the bed and pulled the blankets over him. "A sick person isn't allowed to go anywhere but the bed and the bathroom!"

He winced in pain as his back hit the mattress and he sat up. "H-How did you know I was sick?"

"Because a certain somebody didn't come for work today and didn't tell me, I had to ask that shitty manager of mine what happened. So now I'm here to visit. Why didn't you tell me? Don't I deserve to at least know that you're sick?" She looked down, sorrow evident in her voice. 

Haise frowned and clenched his fists. While there was a part of him that didn't want to see her, another part didn't want to worry her. That is, if she even worries. Well, now he knows. "I'm sorry. I should have informed you." He then laughed sheepishly. "If I told you next time, would you nurse me back to health?

She smacked the back of his head and he yelped. "Don't cross the line."

"Hehe."

Touka found herself smiling and she sat down beside him. Taking the bowl into her hands once again, she held it in front of him. "Here. I cooked this. After eating, take the medicines I bought for you and go back to sleep." 

The male stared down at the bowl of warm porridge in his hands. Touka cooked this..for me? He knows it doesn't mean anything, after what happened yesterday but he couldn't help but feel happy at the thought. "Thank you." He started digging in.

"How..is it? It probably tastes like shit since I haven't cooked in a thousand years."

He grinned. "It tastes great!"

A small smile formed on her lips. "Is that so? You know, Ken used to teach me about cooking—" She stopped herself and squeezed her own hand, as if trying to hold back.

Haise noticed the change in her tone and put the bowl down. Maybe it's because he's sick that he's doing this but he's thankful that he was. He grabbed her hand, prompting her to look up and stare straight into his grey eyes. "You can talk to me about anything. I know we talked about this yesterday but I need to say this. I like you and I want you to know that I'm willing to be in the 2nd place. I can make you happy."

She shook her head as tears escaped her eyes. "It's not that.... It's me. I'm afraid to love again. Afraid that the person I love would leave me."

He squeezed her hand. "I won't leave you. I promise."

Touka removes her hand from his, much to his disappointment. "Thank you. I appreciate the thought. But I'm just not over him yet."

Nodding, he felt a wave of sadness fill him but he must not let it show. He smiled. "I understand."

Wiping away her tears, she placed the medicines into his hand and gave him a cup of water. "Eat and sleep."

"Can I do my work after eating this? I feel better after sleeping."

"No. Nishiki and I will let you off just for today so just get some rest. I'll be sitting here to make sure you don't attempt to do your work." She smirked.

Haise groaned.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day, Haise was already feeling much better except that he still had a little cough. So Nishiki told him to continue resting until he was fully recovered. 

The male exited his room with a blanket around his shoulders and settled down in front of his coffee table to start on his editing work. As soon as he started typing, his doorbell rang and he grumbled as he got up to answer the door and to his surprise, Touka was standing there with a backpack. 

"Uhh what are you doing here?"

She pushed past him, entered his house and sat down beside the spot where he was sitting earlier. "I'm here to do my work and check on you so you don't overdo it."

His heart thumped loudly in his chest and his cheeks warmed. "I-I don't think that it's a good idea for you to be in my house. I'm a man and I have feelings for you."

Touka shrugged. "I trust you won't do anything to me. Even if you did, I'll just kick you in the crotch and make sure you can never reproduce."

Shivers ran down his spine at her statement as he closed the door quietly and settled down beside her. He watched as she started taking out her laptop and writing and reference materials from her backpack. The space between them was an arm's length, an acceptable and comfortable distance. At least she wasn't avoiding him after yesterday, he thought. 

The silence was awkward but it was soon broken by the sounds of typing on the laptops. 

Though it was a little forceful from her side, he was grateful that she came over because her presence was comforting to him. 

Few minutes into work, Haise couldn't help but glance over to the woman sitting on the floor beside him. She was in an oversized blue hoodie that matched her hair color and eyes, and a black shorts. His eyes ran over the smooth skin of her thighs and he flinched when she started talking. "I know you're staring at me."

He immediately faced the other direction and his cheeks burned. "I-I'm sorry!"

A sigh escaped her lips and she stood up. "Do you have coffee?"

"Ah yes, it's in the lower cupboard in the kitchen. I'll bring it for you." Haise replied as he attempted to stand but she pushed him to sit.

"It's okay. I'll get it. Do you want one?"

"Yes please."

\---

She came back a few minutes later with two hot cups of coffee in her hands and passed one to him before settling in her seat again. Haise sipped the coffee and his eyes widened at the taste of it. "This is delicious! How did you make it? Mine always comes out horrible no matter how I try."

"I dunno. I just make great coffees."

"Will you teach me someday?" He stared earnestly at her with a smile, awaiting her response.

"Yeah yeah. When we have time."

\---

They resumed their work again and after an hour, Haise was starting to become restless. He twisted his back from left to right and sighed in relief as he heard some satisfying crack sounds come from the stretch and reached for his coffee cup. But his hands touched hers as she also reached for her cup and they stared at each other, with Haise blushing. She quickly pulled back her hand and whispered an apology before continuing on her work. 

Her reaction made him frown because he thought that it had offended her but little did he know that Touka was blushing as well. It was just a touch, but why do I feel like this?! It's like..like... Her heart dropped as she continued her thoughts. It's like I have a crush on him...

Eh? What? Why?

Oh I get it! Maybe because we're in his house and all alone. But we're always in my house and alone too. Why is this time different?

And here I thought I wouldn't look at anyone else but Ken...

The doorbell rang and Touka got up to answer it, in an attempt to distract her from her thoughts but it was a mistake to open the door before checking who was there. She stared, eyes wide as Haise's ex stood there. 

Rize also seemed shocked to see Touka in his house but kept her cool and smiled. "Hello, is Haise around?"


	14. Chapter 14

Rize spotted a tuff of black and white hair behind Touka and pushed past her to go to him. "Haise!!"

His ears twitched at the sound of that familiar voice and he sighed when he saw Rize coming towards him. Why is she back again? "What do you want, Rize-San? You have no reason to be here."

She gracefully sat down beside Haise, onto Touka's seat and hugged his arm, purposing pushing her breasts onto him. "Can't someone visit you?"

"I don't think someone who cheated on me has a right to come visit me." He replied nonchalantly, without sparing her even a glance as he continued typing on his laptop. 

"You're so cold~" She shifted closer to him and whispered. "Haise.. I missed you. I want to have sex with you."

The thought of making love with her disgusted him and he pushed her away. "Please stop your inappropriate behavior. We're not dating anymore."

"So mean."

Touka tapped her feet on the floor and glared down at Rize. She was starting to get impatient. "Excuse me, Kamishiro-San? That is my seat."

A fake shocked expression crossed her beautiful features and she covered her mouth. "Oh my! I'm sorry." She stood up and suddenly remembered something. "Haise, don't you serve tea to your guests?"

Haise groaned and stood up to go to his kitchen. Rize followed him and watched as he prepared her green tea. 

With Touka's back to them, she was relieved that she didn't have to see Rize flirting with Haise, which was gross. But she couldn't help but listen in on their conversation while pretending to do her work. 

Rize hugged Haise from behind and inhaled his scent. Ahh the smell that I missed... 

He pushed her away quickly and turned to Touka, relieved that she didn't see anything. He didn't want her to misunderstand. Rize noticed this and narrowed her eyes. She lowered her voice and spoke. "You like that girl."

Making sure Touka couldn't hear them, he agreed to her statement. "Yes, I do and I would appreciate it if you didn't bother us."

Ignoring him, she continued. "But she doesn't like you. What's the point in continuing to chase after her?"

"Speak for yourself. That's what you're doing right now."

Touka cursed under her breath. They were talking so softly that she couldn't hear a thing. Ugh I'm so done with this. I'm just gonna do my work..

"I'm not sure about that, Haise. I know deep down you still have feelings for me. You were head over heels for me. We were together for a year after all."

He sighed. "I admit that I was but those feelings do not exist within me now."

"Ahh.. You were so great in bed too..." Rize purposely raised her voice and Touka twitched. This bitch! Why is that the only thing that you say loudly?!

Haise squeezed her arm. "Rize!"

She giggled. "Why don't you show me your moves again sometime, Haise? I would love it."

"Rize—please stop—"

Okay that's it.

Touka stood up and glared at the lady who was smirking. "Can you stop disturbing him? Can't you see he doesn't like it?"

Behind Rize, Haise stared at Touka with his hands clasped together, as if thanking her for saving him. 

"Oh my. Someone's angry. There's nothing wrong with reminiscing about old times, isn't it Haise?" She turned to him and he struggled to reply.

"There's nothing wrong but please choose the appropriate topic. You're not the only ones in this house. I'm here too. Spare me your disgusting memories." Touka spat.

Haise placed his hand on Rize's shoulder. "I think that's enough for today. I'll have to ask you to leave after you have your tea."

"What? I was just starting to have fun!"

The look in his eyes startled Rize and she quickly took her tea. "I'm going off now but I'll be back soon."

As she left his house, her body shivered at the thought of his eyes earlier. Since when had he become so hot? Instead of fear, she felt excitement within her.

Haise settled down onto his seat with a huge sigh and turned to Touka. "I'm really sorry about all this. I couldn't stop her from saying all those things. Please don't pay her any attention."

He hoped that this wouldn't destroy the relationship between them which he painstakingly built up.

"It's whatever. How in the world did you fall for that bitch anyway?"

"She has her nice parts but she has a very nasty mouth."

"I can tell." Touka answered as her mind played the bed dialogue over and over. She can't help but tease him. "So..how good in bed were you?"

Haise flushed. "Kirishima-San!"

She laughed and he stared at her, mesmerized at her beauty.

"Call me Touka. My family name is too long."

His cheeks remained hot as he spoke her first name. "Touka..-chan."

Well, at least this was a step forward for him.


	15. Chapter 15

"Sasaki. Come here for a bit." Nishiki said as he waved his hand to him.

Haise walked over to Nishiki and sat down in front of him. "What's up?"

He noticed that Nishiki seemed reluctant to open his mouth. "You don't need to go Touka's house today. She has some..family matters to attend to so stay put in the office and do your work."

"Did she say what matters she have to attend to?"

"About that... Sorry, she told me to keep it a secret."

"Ahh... Okay then." Haise was more than disheartened that Touka didn't want him to know what she was up to. But it could be something really important and was not to be disclosed easily. Staying on that train of thought, he pushed away his disappointment and started his work. 

\---

As Rize walked through the cemetery with a bouquet of flowers in her hands, she was on the way to visit her father just as she saw Touka standing in front of a grave. She stealthily moved closer to the woman and hid behind a tree to find out what she was doing. Touka squatted down and placed flowers onto a grave with the name of 'Kaneki Ken'.

Who is he to her? A lover?

"How have you been? I've been really busy this past year, with the deadlines and work I had to finish. Remember how I told you I refused to have any other editor besides you? Well, there's this new guy and his name is Sasaki Haise. He's.." She paused as she tried to find the right words. "An interesting one. I told him I didn't need an editor and unlike other editors before him who backed down and quit, he didn't. He's really stubborn and refuses to quit being my editor. So now, we're good friends but he told me he liked me. What should I do? I know you told me to find someone else to fall in love with after you died but I—." She stopped in her sentence as she tried to wipe away the tears that escaped her eyes.

"I just miss you so much." She sobbed and her tears wouldn't stop flowing.

Bingo.

"Hmm~ looks like I found out someone's secret." Rize came out from behind the tree, making her presence known.

Touka spun around to see who was there and her eyes widened. "Rize!"

She licked her lips. "I wonder what Haise will think if I told him about this. He would be hurt, no? Giving him false hope that you would eventually fall for him is just cruel of you, isn't it?"

"I...I did tell him I didn't want to date at the moment."

"At the moment meant that you might want to in the future. But seeing how you're acting right now, I find it very hard to believe so. If you don't want Haise, will you reject him straight in his face for me? Because I want him back."

Touka couldn't find the words to say back to her because everything she said was right. She knew she wouldn't be able to date anyone else besides Ken. He was the love of her life, her everything and even after he died, she still loved him dearly. But Sasaki he..has become someone important to her. Though she knew it would be unfair to him if she continued keeping him by her side, she still wanted him to be close to her.

"I won't reject him. I want him by my side."

Rize frowned. Well if this plan A didn't work, I could always use plan B. "Whatever you say but remember, Haise will be the one hurting in the end and it'll be all your fault."

She walked away and left Touka alone.

\---

Shrugging off his coat, Haise plopped himself down onto his couch and sighed. Today was exhausting, so many paperwork to complete!! 

The door bell rung and he went to answer it.

"Hello, Haise." 

He sighed. "What do you want? If you have nothing important, please leave."

"Oh I am here on important business. Don't you want to know why your darling Touka didn't go to work today?"

His ears perked up at Touka's name and he let her in. After settling down with a cup of tea, Haise stared at her. She chuckled. "You don't have to glare at me like that. Don't worry, I'll tell you what she was doing on one condition."

"What is it?" He had a very bad feeling about this.

"Sleep with me."


	16. Chapter 16

Haise stared at her, dumbfounded. "You think I would sleep with you just to find out what Touka was doing? I don't think so."

"Oh you will. I'm sure you're curious." Rize grinned creepily as she watched Haise grit his teeth. "Are you sure you don't want to know?"

"I-If I wanted to know, I would have asked her a long time ago already." He stuttered, hoping she wouldn't notice his lies. But he failed when his hand moved to his jaw. He always had a bad habit of touching his jaw when he was lying. 

Her eyes narrowed. "Then why is your hand on your chin? You couldn't ask her right?"

He dropped his hand and averted his gaze. "She...didn't want to tell me."

She chuckled. "If she didn't want to tell you, why would she want to in the future? But I can tell you. What do you say?"

Haise clenched his fists and his bangs covered his expression. Was he willing to risk his relationship with Touka now just to find out what she was doing? 

He decided that he wants to make her happy and in order to do that, he needs to know everything even if the information comes from someone he dislikes. A piece of information is better than none.

"Okay. I'll sleep with you but in return, you must swear to never tell Touka that I slept with you." He told her sternly.

Rize grinned and reached for his tie. "Of course."

\---

The two laid in bed spent from their exhausting activity and Haise turned away from Rize as he started putting on his clothes. "Tell me now what Touka was doing today."

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Haise. Come on, lay in bed with me for a bit. It's been a while since I've been to your room after all." Rize said as she pulled him back to bed and rested her head against his arm, drawing circles on his naked chest.

He sighed heavily and wrapped an arm around her curvy waist to pull her closer. "Okay..."

"I met her at the cemetery today. She was visiting someone by the name of Kaneki Ken and was crying about how much she missed him. I asked her who was her to her and she told me that he was her boyfriend. Even after his death, she still continued loving him and when I asked her about you, she said you didn't matter to her at all. Isn't that mean?" She whined but knowing that Haise wasn't looking at her, she smirked. 

You're still so gullible, Haise. Why would I tell you what she really said? I told you already, I'm going to make you want to come back to me.

"Continue." He breathed, voice shaky.

Good. He's about to break anytime soon.

"She said you were just a distraction. The person she truly loved was Kaneki Ken and she would never forget about him. To her, you're just a capable editor. I don't know what happened between the both of you in the past but you're not even a friend to her."

His jaw tightened and he rested his arm over his face. "Stop. I've heard enough to know where this is going. Thank you for the information. Could you please leave? I want to be alone."

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Of course darling. Call me if you need me and I'll come to you." 

Rize then got dressed and left the house with a smirk on her lips.

\--

Haise felt tears slip down his cheeks and he thought, ah, how long has it been since I've really cried for someone?

His heart was completely shattered in pieces.


	17. Chapter 17

The next day, Haise shows up at her apartment with bloodshot eyes and eye bags and she stared at him. "What happened to you? Stayed up all night watching sad movies?"

He let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, something like that."

You're the cause of it though.

But she continued staring at him with a skeptical look on her face, like she didn't believe him. Touka knew there was something wrong with him because for the whole of that day, he was fluttering around, dropping stuff and staring into space. She pulled the seat in front of him and sat down. "Okay seriously. What's wrong? You can tell me."

He averted her gaze and rubbed his chin. "It's nothing."

"Really? Look me in the eye and tell me it's nothing again."

The male was really determined to do just that and tell her that he was fine but when his eyes met hers, he felt like crying and looked away. He just couldn't face her, not after what he heard from Rize about what she thought about him. "I'm okay."

Irritated, Touka grabbed his chin and made him face her. "You can't even look me in the eye and now you're telling me you're okay?! Seriously, just tell me. I might be able to help."

"Then can you tell me something? What do you think about me? Am I just a capable editor and nothing more?" His voice shook as he talked.

Her lips parted as she released him and looked down. She knows she said that she wanted to keep him by her side but she has never been good with words so she doesn't know how to phrase in a way that won't cause misunderstandings. How can she tell him that she still has feelings for Ken yet wants him to be with her? Now that she thought about it, she is just using Sasaki because of his feelings for her and she felt bad about it. 

Her lack of response told him everything he needed to know and he stood up. "You don't have to say anything. I get it now. I'll be taking my leave..."

Sasaki turned to leave but Touka grabbed his arm. "Wait! You're misunderstanding something!"

Ignoring her, he continued. "From now on, we will be go back to being just an author and an editor. We do strictly work and nothing else."

All of the memories where they had fun doing work together came back flowing to her and her heart broke upon hearing what he had just said. No, no! I don't want us to stop being friends! But why can't I tell him?

She could only watch through her teary eyes as Sasaki packed his things and left.

Needless to say, she couldn't focus on writing for the next few days when he didn't show up. She decided that this couldn't go on any further and went to find Rize on her off day. 

\---

They arranged to meet at a cafe in the city and Touka was the first to arrive. About 10 minutes later, she saw Rize strolling towards her with a wave of her hand and a smile. She settled down in front of her and ordered a cup of cappuccino. 

"Good afternoon, Miss Kirishima. What did you want to talk about?" Rize asked, though she completely knew what was it Touka wanted to discuss.

"It's about Sasaki. What did you tell him? He suddenly asked me one day what he was to me."

"Oh I merely told him what you said at the cemetery that day but it seems he misunderstood what I said and left before I could explain."

Touka looked down, as if deep in thought. "Has he contacted you these few days? I can't seem to find him and he hasn't been coming to work."

"Oh he contacted me yesterday. I'm not sure if you want to hear this though... It might be shocking to you." Rize frowned.

Touka stared straight at her. "What is it?"

Rize looked uncomfortable and hesitant to say this. "Well...he begged me to sleep with him to forget about everything that happened."

Hearing that, Touka's heart dropped to the bottom of her rib cage and tears welled up in her eyes. Sadness filled her because he slept with another woman even though he told her he liked her. That was also when she realized that she was falling for him.

While she was conflicted between confronting him about this and not wanting to see him because he betrayed her, Rize smirked.

Kirishima-San, just like Haise, you chose the wrong person to get information from.


	18. Chapter 18

Pacing up and down the corridor of her house, Touka decided that she shouldn't let this drag on any further and wanted to confront Haise. 

But every time she visited the office or his house, he wasn't there and it made her frustrated because not even Nishiki knew where he went. It's been a few days since then and she still hasn't found Haise. 

She leaned back against her chair with a sigh and stared at the empty seat in front of her where he always sat. His handsome yet childish grin that he would flash her whenever she stared at him. The comfortable silence they often shared when they weren't talking, just enjoying each other's company. Touka realized just how much of a presence Haise had in this house and that she really missed him.

Where are you..?

\---

Few days later, she was asked to go to the office by Nishiki and he handed her a letter. She took it and stared at him with a puzzled look. "What's this?"

"Basically you won an award for selling 700 books and you gotta attend some stupid event."

She frowned as she looked down at the letter in her hand. Though she should be happy that she finally won an award after so many years of writing, she did not celebrate at all. Haise was the only thing that was on her mind the whole time and she won't be happy until she finds him.

"Judging from the look on your face, I'm guessing you haven't found Sasaki yet." Nishiki sighed.

"Yeah..."

Sorry Touka. He told me not to tell you.

He cleared his throat. "Well since you won an award, he might show up at your award ceremony. Don't lose hope."

\---

Touka stood in front of her mirror and stared at the person in the mirror. She could barely recognize herself, wearing a blue strapless body-hugging flare dress that reached the floor, with sequins decorating the entire dress and her black ankle-strapped high heels that was 4 inches tall. Her long diamond earrings dangled and shook when she moved her face closer to the mirror to check on her makeup. Foundation, blusher, mascara, pink eyeshadow and red lipstick. Check.

She rarely dressed up this extravagantly but had to because today was a big event for her. She laughed to herself as she thought of what Haise's reaction would be like if he was here. His jaw would drop to the floor and he would stare at her with an awestruck expression on his face. Her laughter died down and she just wished that Haise was here to see her dressed like this.

Her doorbell rang and she glanced back at the photo of Ken and her with a smile.

I'll be going now, Ken.

She then grabbed her black clutch and quickly made her way to the door.

\---

"What took you so long, woman? Did you drop down the toilet bowl?" Nishiki complained as he started up the car.

"Fuck off. I was just checking whether I've got everything on." Touka scowled.

She squeezed her own hand and Nishiki noticed that, placing a hand on hers. "Don't worry. I'm sure he'll be there."

Letting out an uneasy smile, she nodded and could only hope.


	19. Chapter 19

They reached the venue for the event, which was a 5-star hotel in the middle of Tokyo and Touka got out of the car and tried to walk as gracefully as possible on the red carpet. The amount of flashes coming from the photographs taken by the paparazzi almost blinded her eyes and she tried her best to smile at every picture. Once she entered the hotel and took the lift to the 5th floor where the ballroom was, she took a deep breath before entering.

Touka was astonished at the place before her; the gold wallpaper of the four walls, the diamond chandelier on the ceiling, the food laid out in a buffet, the people in all kinds of beautiful dresses and tuxedos and of course, the red carpeted stage at the extreme end of the hall.

As much as she hated socializing, she had to in order to build connections. So whilst she walked around, starting conversations with people and tasting some food, she also kept an eye out for Sasaki but was disappointed that she couldn't find him in time for the award giving ceremony. 

"Good evening, everyone! Please proceed to the stage area and take your seats! The ceremony will begin soon!"

Touka made her way to her seat and kept on looking for Sasaki even after the ceremony has begun. She then heard her name being called and she went up to the stage. The announcer passed her a gold trophy, with the words 'Youngest Female Horror Author' engraved on it and she took it with thanks before turning to the audience.

Her heart started beating very fast and her palms sweated. This was her first time giving a speech to a huge crowd. She tapped the mic with a finger to check whether it was working and breathed. You can do this.

"Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen.

I am extremely honored to be receiving such an important award and am grateful for the recognition I have received for my work, because I am very sure that every other nominee for this award was as capable if not more, of winning this award.

I have faced several challenges on my way here, but each one of them has only strengthened me to make me the person I am today; a thorough professional who knows exactly what she wants; someone who sets her eyes on a goal and does not lose sight of it, unless it is achieved. Winning this award would not have been possible without the inspiration I have received from my seniors, my colleagues and my editors."

Halfway through her speech, she spotted Haise entering from the back door of the venue and she gave a smile when their eyes met, elated that he made it for her ceremony, just as she hoped that he would.

"I sincerely thank each one of you for helping me reach a stage where I can proudly hold up this award as a mark of my achievement. I would like to specifically thank my current editor, Sasaki Haise for being by my side and supporting me. At first I hated him for intruding my home, my personal space and my privacy. But then over time I realized that he wasn't a bad person and he was just trying to get along with me. I have hurt him so many times that I cannot seem to count but—" 

It dawned upon her that she was completely in love with Sasaki Haise and she could no longer deny that. She made sure to stare straight into his eyes as she says this. "I just want him to know that I love him, I care for him and I want to be with him. Thank you."

His eyes widened and she went down the steps of the stage carefully. She could hear the audience's clapping from behind but she didn't care, going straight for Haise. 

"Okay! That will be the end of the ceremony! We hope that this will encourage the rest of you to continue working hard and you will definitely be rewarded for your efforts! Do enjoy the buffet we have laid out for you and do visit the after party if you are free! Thank you!" 

\---

Touka finally reached him and he stared down at her. "W-What—"

She grabbed his hand before he could continue and took him out of the ballroom to the corridors where no one was. 

\---

As Rize stood outside the 5-star hotel, she licked her lips and thought about how she could ruin the both of their lives further. She went to the 5th floor and saw as Touka threw her arms around Haise, pressing her body against his. He seemed hesitant at first, but he eventually hugged her back. Rize frowned. Well, that's the end of the line for me. It looks like they solved everything. Time for me to give up. With that, she turned to leave to find another man to mess around with.


	20. Chapter 20

"Did you really mean what you said on stage?" Haise whispered.

"I did."

"B-but you said I wasn't a friend to you." 

She released him and folded her arms which propped up her breasts making them look bigger than it already was and Haise forced his eyes away from them because they were talking about something serious. "Okay so here's the problem. I suspect that Rize purposely told the both of us false information to make us misunderstand each other. What did she tell you?"

They then spent the next 20 minutes explaining to each other what Rize had told them and at the end of it, Touka sighed. "The reason why I didn't tell her about me liking you was because I was sorting out my feelings between you and Ken. Also, you! How could you, knowing that she was so horrible to you, and still believe her words?!"

"I-I'm sorry..." He apologized.

She shook her head and sighed again. "I wouldn't be surprised if you'll gladly give 1 million yen to a woman if she asks."

He pouted. "Now I can't stand here and let you insult me! You also listened to her! I also didn't want to believe what she told me, but it sounded so real because at that time I didn't know how you felt about me."

"Well now you know. Do we have all this settled?" She asked.

Haise grinned, relieved that she didn't touch on the topic where he slept with Rize. But the guilt was eating him inside. "Hopefully yes!"

"Good then." She then raised her hand and slapped him. The sound of the slap echoed along the empty corridor and he held his cheek in his hand, whining. 

"Oww! What was that for?" He rubbed his cheek.

"That's for sleeping with Rize even though you told me you liked me. Apparently you begged her to sleep with you! Mind explaining?" Her eyebrows knitted together and she tapped her feet in annoyance.

He struggled to open his mouth and couldn't look at her. "Uhh.... Well..she made a condition where I had to sleep with her to get info about where you went. You know, the day you went to visit Kaneki Ken? I wanted to know."

Touka bit on her lower lip and stared down at the floor. "I'm just sad that you don't trust me enough to actually sleep with her to get info... You could have just asked me straight. But it's not entirely your fault, it's also mine for not telling you stuff. Way before I met Ken, I already had trust issues due to a family problem. But I met him and he changed me. I guess my old habit returned after he passed away."

Haise frowned. "I'm sorry... I also found it hard to trust anyone after what happened with Rize."

She chuckled nervously, tucking a strand of hair that dropped to her face, to the back of her ear. "It seems that we both have communication and trust issues."

Now that they have finally got this sorted out, Haise can't help but lean in to press his lips onto hers. Her eyes widened as he enveloped her in his arms. Pulling away hesitantly, he gazed at her with a look so full of love that she blushed. "N-not here... I have a room booked upstairs..."

He blinked not once, but twice, as if he didn't understand what she meant. "You want to do it?"

Her face flushed from embarrassment when she realized that it wasn't his intention. "We're not? I assumed you wanted to..."

Haise laughed and she stared, entranced by his cute laughter that showed off one of his dimples. It's been a while since she's heard that and she missed it. "I wasn't thinking of that but if you want to, we can. Since you have a room and all."

Her hands turned into balls of fists on his chest. After everything that happened, she just wanted to be close to him right now. "I-I want to."

Haise's cheeks warmed. She looked so adorable that he wanted to take her right then and there but he held the urge in. He had plenty of time to do that later.

\---

They took the lift up to the 12th floor in awkward silence as their intertwined hands brought warmth to their cheeks. Walking down the hall, they stood in front of the door number 1216 and Touka tapped the card to the scanner. A beep sounded and the door unlocked. She looked at Haise and he nodded as his hand turned the door handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be writing lemon next chapter so if you're uncomfortable, you can skip that part. Sad to say, but this story will end in the next few chapters. Prepare yourself for that.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead. Proceed with caution.

The first thing Touka noticed was not the suite room that Nishiki had booked for her, but the beautiful view of the city beneath the windows. She walked straight towards the window and stared awestruck at the city that spread out underneath her, with so many different colored lights on lots of skyscrapers. Her eyes sparkled when she saw the Tokyo tower in the distance.

 

Haise hugged Touka from behind and pressed a kiss to her head. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

She placed her hand on his and closed her eyes briefly to enjoy the warmth that his body provided her. "Yeah..."

"I didn't manage to tell you earlier, but you look stunning tonight." He complimented as he stared at her reflection in the window.

From the look in his eyes, she could tell that he wasn't lying and smiled. "You don't look too bad yourself."

The male was wearing a black blazer, a formal white shirt underneath, a bow tie accompanied with shoes for the occasion. He grinned at her comment and turned her so she faced him. They met each other's eyes for a minute before his eyes moved to her red lips. Running a thumb along her lips, he watched in delight as the simple action brought pink to her cheeks and tilted his head to the side to capture her lips while his hands went down the sides of her body to take in her figure and stopped at her waist to pull her close.

Touka froze at the action and forced herself to breathe when she felt his hands caress her waist, as if trying to reassure her. She rested her hands on his chest momentarily before moving to cup his cheeks. The warmth of his lips lingered on hers even after they separated and they gazed at each other before exchanging nods, in which Touka turned around to let him remove her dress. 

Her dress was supported by a corset at the back and he pulled the string of the ribbon to watch the entire corset loosen. She could feel her body relax, wearing this dress made her feel like dying because it was so damned tight on her upper body. Continuing to hold her dress up, she was hesitant to let go of it as she has always been conscious about her own body. 

Haise noticed that, and started to pepper light kisses onto the back of her ear, neck and her back and she shivered. "S-Sasaki.."

"It's okay. No matter how your body looks like, it won't change my feelings for you." 

She still didn't budge and he understood that his words alone was not enough to give her confidence. He started removing every layer of clothing he had on his body and only left his boxers on. Feeling braver now, she let the dress pool at her feet and stepped away from it, exposing her strapless nude-colored bra with matching panties. She took out her diamond earrings and placed them onto a table. 

Arms under her, Haise carried her up in his arms and she let out a squeak in surprise. He chuckled and walked towards the bed to put her down before getting on top of her. Her hand caressed her cheek as he gazed down at her. "You look beautiful."

Her cheeks flushed at his compliment. Am I really that beautiful? Both Ken and Haise also say the same thing. 

But her thoughts were disrupted as he removed her bra swiftly and pressed kisses all over her breasts, making her gasp. Her breath hitched when he kissed down to her navel and he groaned at the smell of her. He had wanted to finger or perform oral on her but he decided that it was too much for their first time and saved it for next time.

He discarded her panties and his boxers and positioned himself between her legs. "W-wait...condoms.." She breathed.

"Shit I totally forgot." He jumped off the bed and searched his wallet for one and finally got one out. Going back to the bed, she watched as he put it on along his length and gulped when she thought of whether he could fit in her.

He looked at her and she gave a nod. The male pushed in and she groaned, back arching at the long lost feeling at having someone inside her like this. It's been a year since she's had sex after all. Furthermore, he was so big and she needed time to adjust. His hips started thrusting when he noticed her tenseness going away and her fingers scratched down his arms and back and she moaned into his ear.

Using her moans as encouragement, he picked up the pace and held onto her hips. Her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him down for a kiss and he felt himself close. He also knew that she was close with her tightening around him so much. Sucking on her breasts, she came with a scream and he followed soon after, emptying himself inside her.

Haise collapsed beside her after throwing the condom away and pulled her close by the waist. Touka rested her head on his chest and listened as his racing heartbeat started to slow down. "I can see why Rize wanted to sleep with you. You're really great in bed." She teased and watched his cheeks turn bright red. 

"Touka!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually uploaded this chapter on Wattpad on the 20th of December which was Kaneki's birthday and I already wished him there but I'll do it here too!
> 
> Happy birthday Ken and I wish you and Touka happiness everyday ❤️


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get some tissues ready.

Touka hummed the tune that Ken used to for her whenever she fell sick and Haise frowned. "Can I ask you about him?"

"I guess you deserve to know." She inhaled and started. "Ken was like you, he became an editor because he wanted to and he was my first editor. Me being not exactly friendly with strangers, didn't take getting a new editor well. Despite him being shy, he didn't stop trying to get along with me." Her eyes softened as she remembered how he had tried to talk to her.

-Flashback-

"K-Kirishima-San, I-i read your book and I think that it is um.." Kaneki struggled to find the words to describe her book as he wasn't a big horror reader. 

"Scary?" Touka replied, finishing his sentence and he smiled.

"Yes, a better word would be frightening! Umm, could you take that as a compliment? I don't know much about horror." He asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

Though she hated him for being so nerdy, spineless, quiet, shy, timid, everything she hated in a guy, she found herself laughing at his question. "Of course."

-flashback over-

"Ken always gave me words of encouragement and helped in my writing. Even if I didn't win an award, he never gave up on me and believed in my potential. Eventually I fell for him for his many qualities; kindness, caring and determination. Then we started dating and I can still remember our first date." She chuckled.

-Flashback-

Kaneki was standing outside the station wearing a button up white shirt and black pants, with a sling bag across his chest. He saw Touka walking towards him and he blushed at her outfit. Blue skater dress, sling bag to her side, sandals and makeup. His eyes were unable to meet hers as he told her that she was beautiful, cheeks burning red when he took her hand into his sweaty ones. For the rest of the date, he couldn't look at her because he was so nervous holding a girl's hand for the first time.

-Flashback over-

"It was the happiest I've been in a long time. He treated me very well, like I was something delicate. When I was down, he was there. When I was sick, he never left my side. We dated for about a year until he started feeling unwell and stopped coming to work. One day, he came back and told me that he was the final stage of lung cancer and had only a few months left." Touka struggled to keep from breaking down and took a deep breath to steady her voice.

Haise pressed a kiss to her forehead. He hoped that it will make her feel better because he knew it was a sensitive topic for her. It proved to work when her voice returned to normal, though still a little shaky.

"He...refused to seek treatment to prolong his life and said that the treatment would make him so sick that he'll always be in the hospital and he didn't want to be away from me. Even if he did have treatment, it would only let him live for another few months before he starts to get weak again so he rather not do it. No matter how I begged him to, he wouldn't budge. If only I—" she choked as tears spilled out of her tears and he ran his hand up and down her back to comfort her.

"If only I had forced him to go to the treatment, then he could have lived a little longer. It was all my fault." She sobbed.

He turned to her and cupped her cheeks, making her look at him. "Hey.. It's not your fault. Listen, if this is too painful for you, you don't have to continue." Though he wanted to know more, he put her feelings first. If she didn't want to talk any further, he will respect that.

Touka shook her head. "No, you need to know." She cleared her throat and pulled herself together to continue. "In the last few months, he was bedridden and stayed at the hospital everyday hooked up to so many machines."

-Flashback-

The door opened and Kaneki smiled as Touka appeared with a bouquet of flowers. She placed them into the vase at his bedside and sat down onto the chair beside the bed. Seeing him get thinner and paler as the days passed, she refused to let him see her tears. It was finally down to the last week and he could go anytime soon. She visited him everyday even though he told her not to let this affect her work. But she didn't listen, he was obviously more important to her than her work.

One day, he stared at the ceiling and spoke. "Touka-chan, can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

He tilted his head to look at her. "Promise me you'll forget me and find another guy after I'm gone. I don't want you hanging onto me." 

That brought tears to her eyes. "No, I won't! I can't! You're everything to me, Ken."

His voice wasn't even the same anymore, it was now raspy. He pleaded. "Touka. Please."

She shook her head as she sobbed and held his hand. "You can ask me to do anything else but not this!"

"Then throw away all of my stuff and that includes the pictures we took together and the items I gave you."

"W-why are you so cruel? I want to remember you and is it bad to have something to remember you by?" She asked and it brought tears to his eyes.

His hand moved to caress her cheek and a finger caught a tear that rolled down her cheek. "You're the dearest to me in this entire world and I don't want you to be sad. I won't ask you to do anything else, but please find another guy. I want you to be happy. It'll be the last thing I ask of you, Touka. Please."

Touka nodded and Kaneki smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered as a tear dropped down.

He felt sleepy and his eyes slowly closed, even though he could hear her crying for him. The lines on the machines' monitor went flat and a long beep sound came. That was when she knew he was gone from this world forever. She cried and cried until her eyes couldn't secrete anymore tears and until her throat hurt.

-Flashback over-

"I didn't want him to leave with regrets so I promised him to find another man. But I couldn't do it. Even after a year has passed since his death, I still loved him. Until I met you, Sasaki. You were just like him in every other way but you were also different. But I am happy to have met you because I'm here right now, feeling like I'm the luckiest girl in the world." She said as a small smile graced her lips and laid her head on his chest.

Haise made no comment about how she just said that she loved him, though he was happy about it but this wasn't the time to do so. Instead, he hugged her tightly. "You've done well, holding this in for so long. Cry all you want, I'll be here."

Her grief overwhelmed her and  she cried her eyes out into his chest that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Touka cry, I cry, everyone cries. I freaking cried when I wrote this chapter. I just cannot T_T


	23. Chapter 23

For the next few days, it was the same all over again; writing and editing. The only difference was that Haise would occasionally hold Touka's hand, kiss her or hug her which was exactly what he's doing right now.

With an arm around her waist, one hand intertwined with hers and he leaned down to kiss her. He pulled back with a grin and she sighed happily. "You've doing that for the past few days, Haise."

Another thing that changed was Touka starting to call him by his first name and it always sent flutters to his heart. "That's because my love finally came true so I wanna hold you in my arms forever."

She blushed at his mushy statement and turned away to look at the laptop on the table. "At this rate, I'll never finish my book and it'll be all your fault, Haise." She scolded.

Resting his head on her shoulder, he kissed the back of her ear and hummed. "I don't see you complaining when I hold you so I say half the blame is on you."

Touka sighed as his lips pressed to her neck and she stood up with her laptop. Though she loved the attention, she wanted to finish her story. "I'm going to my room. Don't follow me. Do you own work."

"Ehh..." Haise whined and pouted. But he couldn't refuse her, because he knows that she has a deadline to follow. 

-3 hours later-

Haise was itching to hold her again and went to her room to see her sitting on her bed with her laptop in front of her. "Are you done?"

"Almost. Just a few more sentences." She replied, not even looking at him as she typed on her laptop. Feeling the bed sink down slightly, she felt him pull a jacket over her. 

"Careful you don't catch a cold. It's cold outside in this weather." 

Both of them turned their heads to the window, where the snow was coming down quite heavily and Touka held the jacket close. "Thanks."

Another 15 minutes of typing, she closed her laptop, put it away and stretched her arms in the air. "I'm done!"

Touka spun around to see Haise laid with his back on the bed and arm over his chest, sleeping peacefully. She scooted over to him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Seeing him so comfortable, she also wanted to rest as she laid down in his arms and rested her head against his chest. But Haise opened his eyes and moved to get on top of her. He grinned down at her as her eyes go wide and lips parted. 

"Gotcha!"

She punched him on the chest and he winced. "Jeez I seriously thought you were asleep!"

He buried his hand in her light blue fluffy hair and she watched as he gazed at her with so much adoration and love. Her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him close for a kiss and it seemed that once wasn't enough as he kept on going for more. His kisses went down her neck and she giggled as he sucked on a certain ticklish spot. "Haha Haise, stop!"

A wicked smile played on his lips and he whispered no. His hands went under her shirt and he dragged his fingernails down her sides which made her squirm and laugh. She tried to push him away but the giggling was making her weak and she couldn't stop laughing until her tears came out. "Haise!" 

Deciding to put her out of misery, or laughter in that manner, he stopped tickling her and leaned down to kiss her again whilst she grabbed his cheeks with both hands to deepen the kiss. She felt his smile as they kissed and she smiled as well.

It was another peaceful day...


	24. Chapter 24

With hands shoved into his pockets, Haise exhaled and watched as a puff of air appeared and he looked down at his outfit; a long brown coat with buttons at the front, a white turtleneck shirt, red scarf around his neck and black boots. He wondered if this was enough on their first date. But it was too late for him to change when he saw Touka running towards him in her white long coat with fur on its hoodie, a red blouse, black long pants and heels.

He grinned at the sight of her and his heart raced. Though he sees her everyday at her house, he still can't help but feel nervous. Bringing one hand out of his pocket, he held it out and she took it. The two started walking to the city, with blushes on their cheeks.

Today's date was planned by Haise, where they would first go for a movie, which he already bought the tickets beforehand. Touka stared down at the romance movie tickets and snorted. She had a feeling it would bore her to death which it did, and made out with the male in the theatre to kill time.

The next stop was having some nice snacks and coffee at a cafe he found. To his relief, she enjoyed the food and drinks at the cafe and they had a nice chat there.

Lastly, it would be a walk in the park. Hooking her arm in his, Touka pressed close to him because she was freezing to death. Why he suggested this when it was freaking 10 degrees outside baffled her. But she didn't want to hurt his feelings so she never said anything. They walked for about 20 minutes, admiring the view of everything covered in white and chatted again until she suggested to rest at a bench.

Haise looked at her trembling figure and frowned. "I'm sorry... This date was a fail, wasn't it?"

She bit her lower lip. "Hey..it wasn't that bad."

"You don't have to try to make me feel better. I know I'm not good in this..." 

"Everyone makes mistakes and we learn from it. It's okay, Haise. Oh by the way, I bought something for you since it's Christmas and all." She said as she brought out a small square box from her bag and gave it to him.

His eyes widened. His first Christmas gift from a girlfriend! "Can I open it?"

"Knock yourself out. It's something I picked randomly. If you don't like it, just throw it away." She mumbled.

He carefully peeled off the wrapping and opened the box to see a pair of gloves. "I really needed these! Thank you, Touka-chan!" He wouldn't stop smiling as he put on the gloves and kissed her on the cheek, making her blush.

"Actually I bought something for you too!" Haise exclaimed excitedly as he passed a palm-sized box. "Open it!"

The box didn't have any wrapping, for which she was grateful for as it meant that she didn't have to waste time tearing the wrapper away. Pulling the cover off, her eyes sparkled as the heart shaped necklace shined in the box. She had never been big on jewelry but she knew she would love it because it was a gift from Haise.

"...Do you like it?" Haise asked, peeking into her unreadable expression when she didn't say anything.

"I love it. Thank you, Haise."

He scratched the back of his neck and blushed. "Glad that you do. I spent hours thinking of which to get you. Ah do you want to wear it? I'll help you!"

She nodded and turned her back to him so he could put it on her. Shivers ran down her spine as his fingers touched her neck. Once he was done, she thanked him and he smiled as he stared at her wearing the necklace he bought. He pushed a strand of hair to the behind her ear. "It fits you."

Touka blushed and punched his chest. "You're so embarrassing! Come on, let's hurry up and get home. I'm freezing out here."

\---

Their limbs tangled with one another's as they wrapped themselves in thick blankets and enjoyed a steamy Christmas night together. 

\---

Getting out of the bed and putting his clothes on, Haise smiled as he glanced back at Touka, who was sleeping so soundly. Turning on the laptop, a new email popped up in his inbox and he clicked on it. He scanned the subject which said congratulations on the award and then he moved down to read the contents of the email. 

Good evening, Sasaki Haise.

It's a pleasure to meet you. In the recent award ceremony for horror authors, we are impressed that you were able to push your author to get an award in just 3 months after you joined the company. We would like to offer you a job at our company, ASOBIMO, where you will be assigned to more major authors like Takatsuki Sen. Of course, it will be of a higher position than the one you have right now and the pay will be higher. It will also do your career advancement good if you were to join our company, which is famous in the industry.

We look forward to hearing your reply at our company, 721 Oxford road, level 10 conference room, 3pm, 7 days from now.

Thank you.

\---

He couldn't sleep a wink that night.


	25. Chapter 25

Haise doesn't speak about the contents of the email to Touka, afraid that he'll upset her, just when they finally got together. But he was distracted the whole day just thinking about it and she noticed it.

"Haise!"

He snapped out of his thoughts and turned to her. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Are you okay? I've been calling you for quite some time now. If you're still tired after last night, you can go take a nap. Look at those eye bags." Touka frowned as her hands caressed his cheeks.

His lips crashed onto hers and she gasped at the sudden action. His arms secured around her waist, preventing her from going anywhere. He pulled back and laid his forehead onto hers, gazing into her eyes. I don't want to leave her, but my career...

She could see the sadness in those grey eyes of his. "Hey, you okay?"

He forced a smile. "I'm good."

\---

"So what did you want to talk about?" Nishiki asked as he settled down into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

Haise then told Nishiki about the email he received and his conflict on whether he should stay or go. Nishiki seemed to be deep in thought for a while. "Well... From my company's perspective, of course we wouldn't want a capable employee to go. But from mine as a man, you should go for the sake of your career." 

"But..what about Touka?"

He shrugged. "Trust me, Haise. A guy always put his career fist, women second. After you go, she'll get a new editor. You guys can still date. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Okay...thank you for the advice."

\---

His head is telling him to go, but his heart is telling him to stay. I...

Calm down. You still have 6 days to make a decision. Make the right one.

\---

For the remaining of the days, he thought about it day and night and still couldn't come to an answer. Today's the 6th day and it meant that he would have to give them an answer tomorrow. 

"Touka, can I ask you something?" Haise asked timidly.

"Go ahead." Touka put away her laptop and gave him her attention.

"If..this is only an if. If someone asks you to move over to their company and are giving you a higher position and pay, would you go?" He stared at her and waited for her answer.

"I would. Who wouldn't want a better position and pay?" 

"B-But if that person had a lover and it meant that they would be able to see their lover less after they moved, would you still go?"

Please say no.

"Well... I would still go. It is selfish for the lover to stop the person from advancing their career and the lover should support their partner, not bring them down. This is about you, isn't it Haise?" Touka gave a small smile.

Ah. She caught him and he dropped his head. "Yes... Are you mad at me?" He asked, voice soft.

She cupped his cheeks to make him look at her. "I would never. Though I'll be sad if you do move to another company, I would support your decision."

He hugged her tightly and cried into her shoulder. 

But I don't want to leave you.


	26. Chapter 26

Adjusting the tie so that it was straight, Touka patted Haise's chest and stood back to take a good look at him. He was dressed formally; in a black blazer, white buttoned shirt, a tie and office shoes. "You're good to go."

He stepped forward to give her a hug. "Thank you for being understanding about this."

She buried her face into his chest and inhaled. "Of course. I'm not that selfish to force you to stay."

Releasing her, he gave her a smile and left the apartment to head to the company to give his answer. Now left all alone in the house, she suddenly felt very lonely. She said she was going to supportive of his decision regardless of what it was but now she wasn't so sure anymore. Was she really willing to let him go after all the pain they went through just to be together?

Did she really want to ignore her wishes of being with him?

\---

"Ugh I don't know Nishiki. What should I do?" Touka groaned.

The blonde remained quiet on the other side of the line and thought. "Every time you guys have a problem, y'all come to me instead of talking to each other. Do you guys take me as a freaking counsellor who has all the free time in the world?! I don't have time to deal with your bullshit. I'm hanging up."

"No no wait!" She bit on her lower lip as she hastily thought of a way to make him stay on the line. "I'll treat you to lunch!"

"'Make that to 5 lunches."

This bastard is totally taking advantage of the situation. "..Fine."

"Alright kiddo. If you care about him and his career, let him go. But if you wanna be selfish for once and care for yourself, stop him."

"..That's all for the advice? You're a total rip-off! Return me my 5 lunches!" She shouted and almost hung up.

"Wait wait. I'm not done. That being said, isn't it good to think about yourself once in a while? Not what he wants, but what do you really want? Are you 100% supportive of his decision? Can you bear seeing him only on weekends? If your answer to all these questions are no, drop everything and go after him right now." 

...

"Hello ya there?" Nishiki asked as he didn't hear a reply.

"Thanks. I'm going." 

The line went dead and the blonde smirked. You better bring him back, shitty Touka. I don't want to lose a capable and interesting employee like him either.

\---

Touka threw on whatever clothes that didn't stink and rushed out to the streets to get a taxi. 30 minutes later, she arrived at the destination and pressed the lift button. The clock on the wall showed 2.55pm and she cursed. She's not gonna make it. So she ran up the stairs to the tenth level and was panting and wheezing by the time she reached.

But she didn't see Haise there. She walked along the corridor and eyes widened in horror when she saw that he was already in the conference room with a bunch of people. They were talking and she squatted down, face drained of color. I'm too late... She jammed her fist against the wall and tears escaped her eyes. I should have told him I didn't want him to go, that I wanted him to stay. 

She couldn't do anything now.

As she remained slumped against the wall, footsteps approached and they stopped in front of her. She heard a familiar voice. "Touka? What are you doing here?"

She looked up at the person and forced a smile. "I was just..concerned about you."

Haise squatted down beside her and took out a tissue to wipe the sweat on her forehead. "You rushed all the way here just to check on me? You could have just waited at home for me to return."

She grabbed his shirt. "Enough about me. What did you tell them? Did you agree to join them?"

He blinked once and snickered. "What? Don't tell me you don't want me to go even though you said you would support me."

Touka glared at him and he gulped. "Tell me now."

"Alright, alright! I'll tell you!"


	27. Chapter 27

Her eyes widened and Touka couldn't believe it. Haise had rejected the offer to a major company. Though she was happy about it, she still wasn't convinced as to why he would do that. He could have been in a higher position right now, assigned to better authors and living a better life. She squeezed his hand and stared at him with a frustrated expression on her face. "Why?"

His hands caressed her cheeks and he gazed at her. "Because I want to be with you. Is that not good?"

Ahh... She couldn't take it. Her heart felt like it was gonna explode. Throwing her hands around him, he fell backwards on his butt, surprised by her action but still hugged her back. "You idiot! Why would you reject the offer just for me?!" She screamed as she cried into his chest.

"You're more important to me than any position. Besides, I can work my way up the ladder in my current company anyway. I didn't need to go to another company to do the same—" she interrupted him when she captured his lips against hers.

Haise shut his eyes and sucked on her lips. His kisses showed how much he loved her and Touka sobbed more at the thought. 

"Can we please go home and talk about this? We're sitting in the middle of the corridor in another company's building and this is just awkward." Haise smiled sheepishly.

Touka wiped away her tears, letting out a giggle as she stood up. "That's a good idea. I feel so gross since I rushed here and I wanna shower."

He intertwined their hands and glanced over at her with a smirk. "Oh? Are you inviting me to a shower as well, Touka?"

Her cheeks burned and she pushed him away out of embarrassment but he still went back to hug her.

\---

"Who would have thought that you'll reject them?" Touka said, leaning back into Haise's arms and smiling when he pulled her close.

The two sat by the fireplace as they tried to keep themselves warm on a cold winter day.

He inhaled the flowery scent of her shampoo and kissed her head. "I already had a feeling that I would do that. I didn't want to leave you."

"..but are you sure about this? While it is true that I didn't want you to go, I don't want to be that selfish person who forced you to stay. Nishiki told me I should be selfish once in a while but I don't know, I feel bad making you stay." She mumbled, head down. 

His hand rested over hers and squeezed it. "Hey don't beat yourself up about this. It was my decision to stay, it has nothing to do with you."

"Really? You won't regret it?" 

He shook his head. "I won't."

\---

5 years later...

True to Haise's words, he was now a higher leveled editor while Touka is now a major horror author whose books sold 500 a day. Today was their off day once in a while and the female laid on the bed, turning to the other side to shun away from the sunlight, determined to get the rest she deserved.

2 hours later, the door creaked open and in went a certain black and white haired male, who sat down onto the bed to kiss his wife on the cheek. "Darling, it's 11.30am. Time to wake up."

She groaned and pulled the blankets over her. "10 more minutes."

"No can do. The kids want to eat your cooking. For some reason, they don't want mine." Haise faked a sob and watched as she tossed the blanket aside. 

"Okay okay. I'm coming." 

Her children were still more important than her rest. Besides, she could always take a nap later. 

\---

Walking out to the living room, she smiled as she squatted down with open arms. "Ami-chan, Aki-kun! Come give mommy a hug!"

"Mama!" The children screamed and went to hug their momma.

She gave each of them a kiss on the forehead and ruffled their hair. Ami was a girl, who resembled their father with her black long hair and grey eyes, while Aki was a boy who resembled their mother, with blue hair and blue eyes. 

"Mama, we want omu-rice!" 

"Omu-rice coming right up! Haise, take care of them for me will you?" She released them and put on her apron.

Haise put a finger to his chin and faked being deep in thought. "I wonder... Don't I get some kind of reward too?"

She sighed. He was the biggest baby out of her children. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and a hug. "That's enough right?"

His hands soothed her waist and hips and he stared down at her. "I don't know... Maybe we could do more than that—"

Pushing him away, she got started on the cooking. "We'll have time for that later."

He grinned. "Okay."

\---

The family of four had an omu-rice only lunch and then settled down in front of the television to watch a cartoon called Doraemon that their children liked. Soon, they were fast asleep and the parents carried them to their rooms before retiring to their own room. Haise hugged Touka from behind as soon as the door closed and she turned to him to kiss him. She pulled back hesitantly and looked up at him. "I have something to tell you."

He pushed a strand of hair to the back of her ear and smiled. "What is it?"

"I'm pregnant."

He froze. "How long?"

"3 months."

Tears slipped down his cheeks and he hugged her tight. "I'm going to be a father!"

She smiled. "Idiot, you're already a father to two children."

"Right. But still I'm happy! Thank you, darling. I love you." He captured her lips once again and separated as Touka gazed at the photo frames on her cabinet. Haise followed her gaze out of curiosity.

Atop the cabinet were 2 photo frames beside each other, one of which was Touka's photo with Ken on the left, and the other was a photo of the four of them as a family on the right. She took a moment to stare at the photo on the left before landing her gaze on the photo on the right with a smile.

Ken, I might not have been able to forget you, but I found another man and I'm happy. Thank you for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright this is the end of the story! Hope you guys enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> Merry Christmas to everyone and have a happy new year ahead! Let's have another year of touken fanfictions together :D


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